Lancaster woman's special thank you to charity who became her lifeline after husband's death

CancerCare helped Amanda Wearing get her life back on track after she lost her husband Simon due to cancer, last year.

Simon received his initial diagnosis of oesophageal cancer in 2019 shortly before the onset of the Covid pandemic which disrupted medical treatment for many cancer patients across the country.

“Simon was the last person you would ever expect to get cancer,” said Amanda. “He was so fit and healthy and always looked after his diet so it was a real shock.

“I couldn’t go to any of his appointments, scans or treatment sessions with him. It was terrifying, three years of constant ups and downs and worry and it felt like we were constantly waiting for bad news.”

Sadly, Simon’s treatment stopped working and he died in March 2022. His loss left Amanda bereft and three years of struggle, combined with unresolved grief from a number of other family bereavements, left her in need of some extra support.

Amanda had heard about CancerCare’s support services for people affected by cancer and bereavement while Simon was being treated so she got in touch and was referred for counselling with therapist David James at its Slynedales Centre in Lancaster.

“I can’t believe what a difference David has made to my life,” she said. “Having someone to offload how I am feeling has just been brilliant and I have cried with him and laughed with him.

“Looking back I think I was putting my feelings in a box and not dealing with them. I found myself retreating into my bedroom, spending a lot of time there and rarely coming out. I have lots of friends who have been great but when I go for a session I feel so comfortable and relaxed that it is easy to open up about anything and everything.”

Amanda also used the charity’s volunteer driver service to take her to and from her appointments as she is unable to drive.

Over the 20 week duration of her counselling, her mental health improved so much that she managed to return to her job as a legal assistant in a solicitors’ office.

“The support from David has helped me realise that I couldn’t just stay at home anymore and I had to get myself out,” said Amanda.

"Asking for help was the best thing I ever did and I would urge anyone who may be in a similar situation to reach out and do the same.”

Following Simon’s death, Amanda made a new will and she decided to include a gift to CancerCare within it as a way to say thank you for the support she received,

“To keep going, CancerCare relies heavily on donations and I felt I wanted to include the charity in my will as I wouldn't have got through my bereavement without this vital service and the kindness of the staff and volunteers,” she said.

Around a quarter of CancerCare’s work supporting local people affected by cancer or bereavement is funded by gifts in wills.