Remember when your children were little and you used to sit around wee-stinking soft play barns/windswept playgrounds/accident and emergency departments and half joke to your new-found mumsy friends that “Our kids have a better social life than we do”?
Well guess what? Now your kids actually do have a better social life and more friends than you. In fact they’ve got more real friends in the real world than you have pretend ones on Facebook that you haven’t seen in 20 years.
Half-term went in the blink of an eye and in a whirlwind of sleepovers. Daughter #1 worked out that she slept under a different roof seven nights in a row, often awake til stupid o’clock with a gaggle of friends wrapped up in sleeping bags in someone’s lounge.
The most fun me and the boss had was watching Arctic Monkeys and The Strypes play era-defining sets in front of thousands of fans at Liverpool’s Echo Arena after spending a kid-free day (Scouse Granddad was on babysitting duties 10 minutes up the road) sipping freezing cold cider in lovely pubs.
Actually, that was a lot of fun to be honest. I’d heartily recommend it.
But before we knew it our 24 hours of freedom were up and our daughters were dropped off at our fourth-floor city centre rented apartment and we trudged around the shops for two days while they filled their boots with their saved-up allowance.
It goes without saying that children’s idea of a good night out in a big city is very different to yours.
Cinema, early bird restaurant meals and tucked up in bed for 10pm.
That’s a wild night out when you’re 11.
Come to think of it, that’s a wild night out when you’re my age.
Anyway, before we knew it we were back in cuddly old Lancaster in time for the magnificent firework display at Lancaster Castle on Saturday night.
As we stood there in the cold as thousands of pounds worth of explosives lit up the night sky, the thought did occur that these days I get the same effect when I stand up too quickly.