Who’s the Daddy: Ahoy mi hearties...there’s more treasure to be had

Energy prices are rising again.
Energy prices are rising again.
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Let me guess, your gas and electricity bills have just rocketed by about 10 per cent and you’re absolutely furious.

You aren’t using any more than you did last year but the energy companies, one by one, have announced immoral price hikes while paying their chief executives a bonus the size of a life-changing lottery win.

Now here’s the thing, most of the big energy firms are foreign owned. And they have a special name for Britain as they keep prices high here and subsidise costs for their customers back home. And that name is Treasure Island.

So it’s no wonder that they plunder us like pirates. All they need to complete the look is an eye patch, a peg leg and a squawking parrot.

Last week, before British Gas announced their latest massive rise, yours truly spent a teeth-grindingly pointless 20 minutes arguing the toss with a lady in a call centre after they wrote to say the bill was going up – again.

The lady was very polite, but in point of fact totally useless as she admitted that they were going to jack up their prices in the very near future and if I didn’t like it then I should go somewhere else.

Now I’m a nosey journalist who has worked with the internet since the 1990s so it was no bother to have a quick trawl around a few price comparison sites and fix our bills for the next four winters. It is a lot more difficult for the most vulnerable people in society who are baffled by the internet, the elderly, to flit between energy companies and cherry pick the best deals.

Self-facilitating media nodes like myself don’t mind jumping ship. Old ladies, like my mum for example, find the whole idea terrifying.

The government could and should have stepped in by now to stop this robbery. But Big Dave and the rest of the multi-millionaires in his Cabinet haven’t. Nor did the Labour government before them. Number 10’s (hastily withdrawn) advice at the end of last week to keep heating bills down was to, er, put a jumper on.

Some people say that politicians are greedy and out of touch with the man in the street. Not true. Like the excellent (spoof) Iain Duncan Smith Twitter feed said recently: “I know the price of a pint of milk. It’s free, because I expense it.”