Dance like nobody’s watching, they said. But what if everyone’s watching because they’ve bought a ticket to watch you dance?
Daughter #1 dances like a giraffe who has been forced to dance at gunpoint, I dance like Bez out of the Happy Mondays and the boss dances like a primary school teacher out on her Christmas do after one too many glasses of Prosecco.
So it came as somewhat of a pleasant surprise to see daughter #2 up on stage at Blackpool’s grand old Opera House last Saturday as part of her theatre arts school’s excellent interpretation of Jeff Wayne’s Musical Version Of The War Of The Worlds, specifically the bit where the Martians land and kill everything that moves.
Her school lined up alongside 13 other dance schools from all over the North West to perform hits from movies so we had Grease, Hairspray, Saturday Night Fever and even a tap dancing tribute to Pirates Of The Caribbean.
I’ll be honest here. While the other dance schools’ performances were very good, the reason mums and dads turn up in their thousands to shows like this is to see their kid dancing on a big stage in a big theatre. Everything else is a starter before the main course.
Anyway, daughter #2 and her friends were excellent. War Of The Worlds is terrifying (as a 70s kid with an overactive imagination the Martian war cry of Ulla! stalked my nightmares for years) and the dancers swirled like leaves on the breeze. They were magnificent and it looked effortless. But after the show daughter #2 assured me it was anything but.
From my seat up in the circle you could see all the patterns the dancers weaved and it really was something special; like Messi, Neymar and Suarez running rings around PSG.
As much as the kids enjoyed dancing, they loved spending the day by the seaside with their friends with no mum or dad to boss them about even more.
A photographer took daughter #2’s picture with three of her friends before the show. It is one of the best pictures I’ve ever seen. So I did what any self-respecting media ponce would do and got it framed along with the ticket stub.