John Halewood-Dodd column

John Halewood Dodd.
John Halewood Dodd.

By the time you read this Scotland will have decided whether or not to remain part of the United Kingdom.

I accept that I have insufficient knowledge of the political and economic consequences of the vote to comment on that, but I am aware that the UK as a whole has benefitted from North Sea oil.

That apart, what has Scotland provided for the rest of the United Kingdom?

On the culinary front we have shortbread, Edinburgh rock, Iron Bru and deep fried Mars bars. All healthy, nutritional offerings.

Then we have the national dish of haggis, or sheep innards.

Need I say more?

The Scots are also proud of their national drink of whisky, which plays a major role in the Scottish economy.

I accept that many throughout the world seem to enjoy it but as far as I’m concerned even the smell of it makes me feel ill.

Then there’s the national ‘dress’ to consider with men wearing women’s clothing, or the kilt as they prefer to call it. What’s that all about?

I appreciate that this makes me appear biased against the Scots, and on reflection I accept that is the case.

After all, I hail from Carlisle where many Scots would visit for Stag do’s and the like. Quite often there would be trouble at the end of the evening. As a result many in Carlisle have anti-Scottish feelings.

Before all our tartan clad friends rush to complain about my perceived bigotry can I just remind them that many Scots seem to be ABEs in relation to sports, and particularly football. ABE refers to ‘Anybody But England,’ and let’s remember, for example, Andy Murray and many others, confirming they were supporting Argentina when they played England during the World Cup.

Then there’s the Scottish anthem of “Flower of Scotland” which celebrates the Scottish victory at the Battle of Bannockburn in 1314 when thousands of English soldiers were slaughtered.

It’s hopefully obvious that I am non-plussed as to how the vote went. I’m just relieved that it’s over so that something else can be in the news, and I can remove my tongue from my cheek, where it has been firmly lodged whilst writing this.