New Morecambe pier and Lancaster Castle to get a Nandos?

For starters, the Facebook page ‘Morecambe Daily’ revealed the town is about to get a grand new pier, more than 20 years after the demise of the Central Pier.

Apparently, a behind closed doors meeting was held at Lancaster Town Hall yesterday, although it’s the first we’d heard of it.

The pier is due to open on April 1 2020, according to the report.

”Morecambe Daily have managed to get hold of a artist impression and details of the proposed new pier which is to built near to the Eric Morecambe statue,” said Morecambe Daily reporter Ivan Harrison.

“Details at the moment are very hush hush but we can exclusively reveal the new structure will be 1,650 feet (500m) in length.

“Contractors for the development have already been signed up, Lancaster City Council will oversee the development from start to finish.

“We can also exclusively reveal that the pier will house ‘Black Jacks’ casino bar, Star restaurant, Harvey retro night club, a festival arena (4000 capacity) indoor market area for 100 stalls, a small museum which will house memorabilia from Morecambe’s past including the original Mr Blobby costume, and we can exclusively reveal that there will be a ‘child friendly’ children’s traditional play zone and a Marineland type facility.”

The report also said of Morecambe MP David Morris, “the project will include a platform for our local MP to publicise involvement in this project and everything else!”

Meanwhile on a busy day for shock revelations, local businessman Michael Gibson revealed on the Facebook page ‘Lancaster Past and Present’ the ‘plans for the future of Lancaster Castle’.

Mr Gibson said the plans are available to view from today (April 1) at the Judges Lodgings, or Burger King as it will soon be.

His report, claimed to come from the Lancaster Guardian, also said the castle cafe would be replaced with a branch of Nandos.

And after the recent arrival of meerkats at Williamson Park, the report claimed the Duchy of Lancaster would follow suit at the castle by bringing in a sloth enclosure!

It also said that to capitalise on Lancaster’s student market, the section of the historic Castle from the Shire Hall to the Keep would be converted into 84 boutique and high-grade student apartments.

It also said Lancaster University would take on the operation of the Shire Hall for graduations, music festivals and ‘student nights’ and would also redevelop the former A Wing of the prison into a new university faculty.

“The development will see the establishment of the George Osborne Centre for Advanced Economics,” it continued.

“Due for completion in 2019, the centre will be opened by the current Chancellor in whose honour it will bear his name following a £30m government grant and match funding from online shopping giant Amazon.

“In response Trevor Nimby of local residents collective ‘Lancaster Outraged Yoghurt Weavers and Grumbly Moaners’, said ‘This is an absolute outrage and I blame ‘The Council’ and I will write lots of moany things on Facebook and then do nothing more about it whatsoever in protest.

“Also why is that helicopter up there again?”

Congratulations to Mr Harrison and Mr Gibson for these excellent April Fools!

Have you seen any other April Fools on line? Or have you pulled off, or been the victim of an April Fool joke this morning?

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