Grief Awareness Week 2022: How a young woman from Lancaster transformed her mental health with specialist bereavement therapy

As part of Grief Awareness Week, which runs from December 2-8, Sophie James is sharing the story of how specialist bereavement counselling at CancerCare helped her work through the raw pain and trauma she experienced after her mum Siobhan died following a cancer diagnosis.

The suddenness of her mum’s death, who Sophie describes as her “best friend”, left her devastated.

“I was finding my day-to-day life increasingly difficult due to intrusive thoughts and feeling overwhelmed by grief and trauma," Sophie said.

"Although I have lived with depression for many years, my mental health deteriorated as a result of losing mum."

Struggling to cope, Sophie was referred to CancerCare by her GP, who recommended the charity’s specialist bereavement counselling services as a way of helping her work through her profound feelings of loss.

Sophie began sessions with counsellor David James and was initially apprehensive about opening herself up to someone she didn’t know.

“I was scared to be honest about my mental state and share my feelings, but my catastrophising had spiralled out of control and it was only once I had begun my sessions with David at CancerCare that I realised my grief was a contributing factor to this and making it worse,” said Sophie.

With David’s support, over the coming weeks Sophie gradually worked through her feelings of pain and loss in the quiet and relaxed environment of the Slynedales Centre in Lancaster.

“Before my sessions at CancerCare, my thoughts were like a tangled web of trauma, pain and sadness on a daily basis, so talking through things slowly and feeling heard and understood meant everything," Sophie said.

"Working with David, I was able to recognise my feelings and calm my thoughts. I went through a noticeable transformation, from being a closed off, afraid young person to someone who felt more in control.

“I looked forward to seeing David every week. Admittedly, not always the sessions themselves as sometimes what we needed to talk about was difficult, but it was important to relinquish myself and open up about the worst experiences. I knew I wouldn’t have been able to do this without such a wonderful, caring expert like David."

Sophie has since finished her therapy at CancerCare and while the loss of her mum has left a huge hole in her life, the raw pain she felt immediately after her death has eased.

“She was the best mum, and most caring, strong, and compassionate person. I love her and miss her every single day," Sophie said.

"I still have my dark days like anyone, as there is no fix or ‘band aid’ for bereavement or mental illness, but I carry so much of what I learned from my sessions with me in my daily life, which helps me so much."

“I would recommend CancerCare to anyone affected by bereavement. It is painful losing someone you love so much, but actively prioritising your mental wellbeing and accessing professional support can lay the foundation for a happier present and future. It is never too late to seek help.”

"David was a true anchor and confidante in my life and steered me through my lowest points. I feel so incredibly fortunate to have been able to access support like this, and I would advise anyone else struggling to reach out to CancerCare.”

For more information about CancerCare’s bereavement services visit cancercare.org.uk or call 03330 150628.