Sponsored by
Taking your baby home for the first time
In the first of a new series of features focusing on children and parenting, we look at how new mums cope in the days immediately after childbirth.
Many first-time parents can find the reality of caring for a new baby a far cry from the happy scenes often portrayed on television. As the Guardian found out, it's not all happy smiles and contented gurgling with a newborn child – but there are people out there to help.
THERE can be few more daunting prospects than having a tiny new life totally depending on you for its every need.
Nothing can prepare you for the reality of holding the future of a child totally in your hands.
For most new mums, the first few days at home with their baby are a complete shock to the system – months of preparation fly out of the window as first hand experience takes precedence over what they've read in books, watched on TV or heard from friends and family.
Jennifer Terry found she had to learn for herself how to look after baby Alfie, now six months old, despite friends trying to help.
"I was in the RLI for four days after having Alfie, but they leave you to it a lot of the time and you have to work it out for yourself," she said.
"I wanted to breastfeed so I chose to stay for longer to make sure I could get the hang of it. If you're not coping on the breast they will help you, they will take the baby and look after them for a couple of hours.
"Getting home I found it quite overwhelming on our own at first. You worry what you are going to do but after a couple of days you get into a routine and then after a week or so it just comes naturally.
"I think you probably have to experience it for yourself. Friends try to give you advice but it's easy to be told something, but your baby isn't the same as theirs, and it's probably just best to get into your own routine and try it your own way."
For new mothers such as teacher Katherine France, who lives in Lancaster but whose family lives in York, the prospect of a new baby can be even more daunting with no relatives around for added support.
When Georgia, now 12 weeks old, was born, the reality was a shock.
"My husband went back to work soon after Georgia was born, so it was a shock suddenly being on my own with a baby – there's no rule book which comes with it," she said.
"If you haven't got family nearby and are used to being busy working it's a complete culture shock; you're not prepared for it.
"It's never ending, you can never relax. It's wonderful but you find it quite strange at the same time.
"I have found that it's necessary to have places you can go, and I would advise new mums to go out once a day, even if it's just to the local shops, because it gives you a focus for the day."
Although Georgia was born two weeks early, the pair went home from hospital the following day, once she had been given advice on breastfeeding.
"The midwife wasn't happy with me going home until she had seen me breastfeed a couple of times," she said.
"She then visited me every day for ten days and that was great support.
It was really needed because otherwise I would have felt abandoned.
"You take this little baby home and suddenly there's no-one to tell you what to do, and it's frightening. I was lucky because my mum came to stay for a week, which I couldn't have done without."
Special groups set up for new mums to meet and socialise while their babies play, have proved popular in the district.
Surestart's Baby Group for infants under one year old gives parents a break from the harsh realities of coping with a new baby, and allows them to share their experiences over a cup of tea. Their babies, meanwhile, can play and meet new friends.
Janine Ramolla moved to Lancaster from Germany with her partner shortly after their daughter Zita, now eight months old, was born.
She has found the support of other mums at the Surestart group invaluable.
"It was really good for me to find this place because I didn't know anyone here," she said. "My partner works during the day so it was very helpful for me to find other parents, and Zita really needs the contact of other babies.
Changes
"Having a baby was a big shock. It's a wonderful experience to have a new baby but I had so many changes happening really quickly that it was very hard.
"You can't prepare for it at all – everything is new and you have to find it all out for yourself."
As well as coping with a new baby, Kerry Farish had to deal with a jealous toddler at the same time.
Maisie was just two when her sister Poppy was born seven months ago.
"She did go through a stage of being really jealous, so we gave her as much attention as possible, but then you have to do that without the baby being left out," Kerry said.
"It took quite a while to get used to having two.
"I started to breastfeed but I found it really hard, although the midwives try to help you as much as they can.
"I only did it for a couple of days – I was onto bottles before I left hospital."
For those needing a little extra support, a workshop for breastfeeding mums is held at the Lune Park Children's Centre in Ryelands Park, offering the knowledge and advice of qualified breastfeeding peer supporters.
It's run by mums too, so advice from their own experiences is always on hand.
Mum-of-two Suzanne Beswick, one of the group leaders, helped set up the group after seeing the need in the area for mums to meet and discuss breastfeeding issues.
"We are trained to help mums with any problems," she said. "And we have a connection from the group into other local groups or to health services.
"The group also gives mums the chance to meet others in similar situations as themselves. It's nice for them to have someone to talk to who understands what they are going through.The peer supporters can relate to a lot of the issues the mothers have, because they have all gone through it or are still going through it themselves. Most of the mums just need a bit of confidence and to be told they are doing a great job, and that's the kind of support we can give them. Everybody is in the same position and it's nothing to worry about – one of the most important things after having a baby is realising you are not alone."
Email to a friend
Print this page
Looking for...
Featured advertisers
Jobs
Search for a job
Motors
Search for a car
Property
Search for a house
Weather for Lancaster
Friday 10 February 2012
Today
Light rain
Temperature: -1 C to 3 C
Wind Speed: 22 mph
Wind direction: South east
Tomorrow
Cloudy
Temperature: 1 C to 2 C
Wind Speed: 10 mph
Wind direction: South east
