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Fostering - A home from home
Every day there are children in need of a bit of extra care and support away from their family home.
For some it might be a short stay with a foster family, while for others it can lead to a permanent new home and happier family life.
Most of the children put into foster care are rehomed because of abuse or neglect, although some will be moved from their families because of illness, disability or family problems.
Some will stay only a short time with their carers, while others will forge lifelong relationships.
Fostering is not for everyone; it can be hard work and emotionally draining, particularly when children are returned to their own
families.
But for those who do it it's also a rewarding job, helping children's lives to change and progress before their eyes.
Gina and Steve Collishaw have fostered seven young children for varying lengths of time since they first took on the role of foster carers in July 2006.
Having six children of their own – with Abigail, 11, and Christopher, 10, still living at home – it was vital everyone was happy with the idea.
"I had been considering foster care for a number of years but I had to wait until my own children were at an age where it was suitable for everyone in the family," she said. "They all had to be happy or it wouldn't work."
Jill Strickland, supervising social worker with Lancashire County Council's fostering team, first visited the Collishaws at their Heysham home in 2005 and has been working with them ever since.
"The first port of call is the visit from a social worker to talk about family circumstances and how fostering would affect that," she said.
"The process takes about six months, and we discuss whether it's right for you and your family and what it involves.
"They are then invited to a training preparation course which looks at everything it involves and the impact on your family, the rewards and the possible difficulties.
"It's run by social workers and a foster carer and it's designed to open people's eyes to the realities of it; people can then realise that it's not for them and that's what it's designed to do."
Those keen to continue the process are then allocated a social worker to undertake an assessment of the family, which takes three or four months.
If all goes to plan, new foster carers will then wait to be allocated a child to care for. Once a request for a foster home comes in to social services, Jill and the team will match the child up with a suitable carer. Most carers specify which age ranges they are prepared to foster, depending on their own circumstances.
Gina said: "We were looking at the 0-4 age range because I thought teenagers wouldn't really fit into the house as well.
"It's a very demanding job, and you have got to be realistic and try not to run before you can walk and only take on what you can cope with.
"You have got your own family to consider as well."
The Collishaws are currently caring for 11-week-old Jessica, having fostered her when she was just five-days-old.
"She will be here for as long as she needs to be until the time is right for her to move on," Gina said.
The child can stay for anything from a few days of respite care up to a year or more, with older children in particular often remaining in their foster homes for many years.
The majority of younger children, however, will usually go back to their family or move on to adoption.
"Fostering gives the parents a chance to sort themselves out and get it right for the children," Jill said.
A 'bridging process' usually takes place when the time comes for a child to move on, but it can still be a struggle for carers to deal with.
"You tend to have an idea about three weeks before they are moving on so you have time to prepare yourself to come to terms with it," Gina said. "When the child moves on to adoption you spend time with the new parents so they can see the routine that the baby is in and then you spend time at their house.
"It's a very quick but intense process over a couple of weeks and you have to take a step back, but when you see the new family it makes it all worthwhile at the end of the day.
"It's very hard when you have to part with a child but you have to see it as part of the job.
"It's something you have to go through, and if you can see them moving on to something positive it gets you through it.
"It's hard for everybody, but if there's no emotion there then you are doing the wrong job."
For those potential foster carers with children, a special course is run aimed specifically at the youngsters.
"I talk to the children about what it involves," Jill said. "We involve the children as much as we can in the process because it has a big impact on their lives."
Gina's daughter Abigail has since helped with preparation course for people interested in fostering, talking to other children about her expectations and experiences.
"I didn't know what it would be like at first but it was all right," she said. "At first you don't always think you are going to get along but then you get attached to them.
"I like playing with the children, but it's sad when they go, although it's nice to know that we have helped them to move on."
There are currently 104 foster carers in Lancaster, Fylde and Wyre, looking after 156 children. Countywide there are 519 foster homes and 831 placements, although the figures are ever-changing.
"Every month there are new carers coming through but also there are carers that are retiring or leaving fostering due to a variety of reasons," said Jill.
"There are no restrictions on age; we have some that are retired, some that are in their 20s without children and some with children.
"Everybody gives something slightly different.
"The most important thing is having space in your life and in your home.
"You have to be at the right point in your life without too many commitments to your own family or work.
"They are not your average children, particularly the older ones who might have had difficult life experiences and separation from their families or traumatic events in their lives, and they need over and above what your average child needs in terms of time and support."
Gina added: "You need a loving environment that you can care for a child in. I think anyone considering it should just go for it because the rewards are just immense; it's the best thing ever."
Retired couple Ann and Alan Hudson started fostering teenage girls 13 years ago after experiencing it through their son, who also fostered.
The couple, who moved to Heysham from Harrogate, have since taken in about 40 girls, usually on a long-term basis and sometimes as many as four at a time.
They are currently looking after a 13-year-old as well as a 24-year-old who has learning difficulties and has been part of the family for 12 years.
"With only Alan and myself in our bungalow we were rattling around a bit," Ann said. "We had always wanted a big family but could only have two children ourselves, and we just felt we could help some other children.
"Because of having granddaughters we decided to have girls of a similar age, so that there was no jealousy involved."
Ann and Alan have since taken numerous courses and both have their NVQ level 3 in childcare. Ann also helps to train new foster carers while Alan represents carers on a local forum.
"One of the wonderful things about it is the close bond with the other carers," Ann, 63, said. "Because you are all in the same position it's nice to know you can get hold of someone if you need to, and everyone understands what you are going through."
Having seen so many girls come and go during the last 13 years, Ann knows all too well what foster carers have to cope with.
"I have often said that you laugh a lot but you cry a lot too," she said. "They become part of the family and you forget they are foster children, and so you don't always want them to move on and you do worry about them.
"But a lot are still in contact and we get cards and phone calls which is lovely.
"I can't imagine ever finishing fostering; you certainly don't go into it for the money, you do it for the love of the children, but I can't imagine not doing it."
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Friday 10 February 2012
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