Annual Pie Eating Championships goes German!

Piemaster Tony Calaghan
Piemaster Tony Calaghan

ORGANISERS of today’s World Pie Eating Championships were fending off charges that Germany Chancellor Angela Merkel’s influence in Wigan is a motorway junction too far.

After the 2014 “oversized-piegate” shock and recent fiascos involving a dog eating all the pies and doctored gravy, Piemaster and Harry’s Bar venue owner Tony Callaghan is adamant that pie eating will not go the way of FIFA and international athletics.

“We’re getting the pies from Germany – the home of accuracy and technical expertise. I don’t care what anybody says about Germany and emissions – that’s down to the Germans and what they put in their pies for domestic use – we need accuracy and consistency,” said Tony.

The 2015 World Pie Eating Championships are taking place at Pie Noon today at the Wallgate venue. But the 2015 contest will be aiming to bring pie eating back from the brink that could have, in the view of Callaghan, seen competitive pie eating tarred with the same smears as athletics and football.

“Honesty and accuracy is crucial. We have consistently

-sized Euro-pies from Aldi, from where we’ll also get the bathroom scales, again for accuracy. But we will not use the Pie Stick, instead relying on the honesty and integrity of the competitors to respect starter’s orders,” he said.

“The competition has in recent years completely lost its way. After the 2014 fiasco – when a work experience chef baked double-sized pies – it sent a clear message that standards were slipping.

“It was a right mess, not helped by our cleaner going to the wrong pub. Equally, we’ve had more incidences of swallow stall in recent years because pies have dried out being stored in the chief umpire’s garage overnight because of over-anxious security concerns; we’ve also had to ban gravy and use of cough syrup.”

Callaghan denied that getting the pies from Aldi was anything to do with somebody forgetting to order the pies locally.